You left me looking over the edge,
questioning my own ability to jump
and let go.
I fell and hoped you would catch me.
Instead you retreated in fear.
I can't blame you though,
I was always the one to say
"my trauma makes me unlovable"
When I hit the rock hard ground,
I hit hard, feeling so much more than I ever have.
I watched as I broke into all these tiny pieces,
all these broken parts of me.
Some tried to flee,
throwing themselves over the edge with relief.
some parts started to fight amongst themselves,
while the others froze in fear;
all except one.
The light part glowed like no other light I have ever seen,
when I finally saw it, I could see nothing else,
I stared and then it started to speak,
"I'm here for you Dana. I have always been here for you all along, I never left and I never will. I am the spirit that lives within you. You have an important part to play and I can promise your pain and suffering has not been for nothing. You have been given your voice and the power of your words for a reason. You are irreplaceable in the great round, the role you will play is essential.You are to be the voice for the voiceless, the vulnerable, those made weary by their traumas, too wounded to stand up and fight this seemingly unremitting war.
You can't tell me this isn't a fight I can win..
I have already win,
by not letting what he did to me,
destroy my life.
It's my life to lead
and I choose to live it for Christ
and all the children like me,
who wish they never experienced that unwanted touch.
I want, no need to let them know,
what happened to them and us,
is not an uncommon crime,
they are not outsiders because it happened to them.
They are alive, they are breathing and they are growing.
I hope to save children from feeling as defective as I did growing up.
